Sry I called you an 8
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
