I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize