Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
