the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
