So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
