well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
