a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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