so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
