is wine microwaveable?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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