...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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