so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
