Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
