i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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