He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
