you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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