Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
