It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
