We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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