So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
