I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
