gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you would pick up someone in the library
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
