I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
