My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
