is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
