Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
