He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
