this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
