their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
