Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
