I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
