Apparently you make a good broom.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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