covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
