i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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