Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize