have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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