This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
