btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
