After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
