I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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