I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
