and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
