K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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