i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
