I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I FOUND THE LEGS
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
