in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
