So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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