im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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