This girl is more easily done than said...
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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