i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
