We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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