The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
oh god was she eating orange peels again
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
