We're like a lot better than the average bears
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
