and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You are a genius and a whore.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
