she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
