wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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