Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
This is my gift to your gina
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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