Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize