what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
