i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize