Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
