three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
