party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
