you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We don't watch enough power rangers
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
