He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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